Listless Casualties
by extraordinaire
Summary: AU SasuSaku. When juggling forbidden romance with your childhood sweetheart, keeping your father sane, and all other attributes of being the perfect Catholic school girl, the only thing left to do is list the reasons why.
1. Pose One: flash a smile

Reasons Why Sakura Haruno Is Really, Undeniably Cool  
_written by Sakura Haruno  
_**& Ino Yamanka, bitch!**

1) **She's best friends with Ino Yamanka.** _You're just so freaking shameless, seriously._ **Hey, there's no point in lying, is there?**

2) _She's a proud catholic, yo!_ **Yeah, and she goes to youth group and choir and every** **freaking Sunday she—** _Ino, so do you. And I love church. And so do you._** I know, I** **know. I'm just building up dramatic effect.**

3) **She has the most beautiful voice in all church choir, and probably the school as well.** _Ino, stop. I'm not that good._ **You're too modest. We can't put that on this cool list.**

4) _She listens to good music._ **Yeah, **_**okay**_**.** _Hey, what was that about?_ **I mean, your** **Christian rock is pretty cool, but some stuff is like…**_**what**_**?** _Like what?_ **All your weird** **British-pop bands. And let's not forget Madonna.** _…whatever…_

5) **She is undeniably and irrevocably in love with Sasuke Uchiha.** _Ino! Ew! I am SO_ _not! I mean, that was so ten years ago._ **Old flames just don't die out!** _…yeah, they do._ **Well we'll just have to see how the cookie crumbles…**

-&-

(**Listless Casualties**)

/pose one/  
_flash a smile and pull a Shakespeare_

-&-

It all started many, many, many years. Ya know, when I was young and cool shows were present on Nickelodeon, not showing crappy things like iCarly and The Mighty B. It was a time in the 90's, and although the fashion was terrible with the long wool skirts and baggy sweaters that just _weren't_ flattering, it was a time of good music, peace, and love.

It was a time to be in Mrs. Uchiha's religion class, held at our church every Friday night at six-thirty. I'd always sit next to the handsome stud that ended up stealing my heart.

But enough with the emotional crap. I'm old enough and smart enough to know that fairytales are for idiots.

And before you start judging me and going, "Oh goodness, here's another girl who hates love and all that clichéd stuff", you should know that the last thing I'll ever be is clichéd. And I don't hate love. I just think fairytales are for people waiting around for something better.

And romance, well, don't even get me _started_. I love it, but not in the _sickening_ kind of way.

Hm, and what could you stereotype me as?

Oh, I don't know, _a teenage girl_?

…that didn't take long.

(or that much work)

But stereotypes are also for idiots. I mean, really, everyone is different, and you can't be put in a group.

Or you can, but they're still not cool.

They're as cold as hot chocolate.

(and yes I went there)

Psh _freaking_ yeah.

-&-

Reasons Why Being Catholic Pwns All  
_written by Sakura Haruno  
_**& Ino Yamanka**

1) **All the volunteer work looks so good on your college application.** _Ino, you're so incredibly shallow._ **What, it's true?**

2) **There are many good-looking men there.** _…They're priests._ **EW, not like THAT. I** **meant ones you also volunteer.** _Like who?_ **SASUKE**. _…die…_

3) _You have something to believe in, and therefore a purpose in life._ **Like** **screwing** **Uchiha Sasuke senseless?** _We're in church right now!_

4) **You get total brownie points from the 'rents when they know about your hardcore religious tendencies.** _Seriously, you're so going to hell._ **Oh, I know, darling.**

5) **You can see Sasuke Uchiha.** _Holy freaking crap Ino! Just because we used to be 'childhood sweethearts' so does NOT mean that we can be together now. I mean, you know who he is!_ **…your future husband?**

-&-

"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Yo bitch, it's me—well you know who.

So guess what? Tonight, there's this carnival down at the beach, and I'm pretty sure that we have to go. _They_ will be there, but that's technically not a _bad_ thing.

And when you say 'love ya, sweetie!', that is to ME, your HOME GIRL Ino, right?

OR _Sasuke_.

And not to SOMEONE THAT SHOULDN'T BE A SWEETIE, right?"

--

"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Stop embarrassing me, please. But anyways, it's Gaara, and we should go to the beach tonight. Call me back, alright?"

--

"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Okay, so Sakura, this is Tenten, and you're my lesbo lover, so therefore you ARE my home girl. _Seriously_.

But anyways, I'm sure Ino's already called to invite you tonight, and let's not forget _the_ _boyfriend_, but I'm still here to remind you because I love you. Seriously.

And Ino keeps saying that _Konoha_ will be there, which is like, _sigh_, terrible. Whatever.

AND YOU DO NOT LIKE SASUKE.

_Right_?"

--

"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Um, hey, it's me, Hinata, and tonight's the thing at the place and all that jazz. You coming, right?

And if so, PLEASE come to my house. Kiba asked me to go with him.

-insert squeals-

And I don't like _youknowwho_. Seriously."

--

"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Hi sweetie, it's your father, and I love you too! But I just wanted to tell you that I'll be coming home late again, okay? Call me if you have any plans."

--

"Hey, it's your home girl Sakura, but not really, 'cause she's not here, and she's not really yours either—love ya, sweetie!—but leave a message and I'll try to get back to ya! Peeeaaacceee!"

"Yoooo, it's me, you're home girl Sakura, like, for real now.

And yes, I'm calling myself, but that's only 'cause I'm in the living room on the house phone, and I really, REALLY don't want to go to my room to get my cell because there's a Ting-Ting interview on VH1 right now, but I wanted to remind myself to get 'That's Not My Name' on my iPod.

Oh, and that tonight, I need to make plans. And to wear my new denim mini skirt with the pink scarf my cousin got me the other day.

AND to paint a picture of that bird by my window that comes every morning—which is why I'm spending my Saturday morning getting up at six so I can get the picture.

And maybe to talk to my dad about his single streak.

HOLY CRAP, TING-TING IS THE NICE WAY OF SAYING _DICK_ IN JAPANESE.

_Coolness_.

Love ya gal, and talk to ya later!"

-&-

"Okay, for serious, cotton candy is like, a gift from the freaking gods." I shouted in between the stuffing of fluffy, pink stuff in my mouth. Once the paper stick was completely free of all sugary and delicious things, I threw it into the barbwire can next to us, licking my fingers."

Ino snorted. "We all know that fried Oreos are totally king. I don't even _know_ what you're talking about."

"Ew, I don't want to sound like a health freak, because we all know that I'm not, but a fried Oreo sounds like a heart attack. Seriously, _gross_. And I don't like Oreos anyways. I'm more of a sweet, _not_ chocolate kind of girl."

Hinata giggled. "Only you would hate chocolate." Kiba—who is super hot and smoking, if ya didn't know—just smiled, gripping her hand more. And I'm like—inwardly, of course—awing my head off. They're so super cute, and like, all those wonderful things.

And yes, Ino things that she belongs with someone in Konoha (_ewewew_), who's name rhymes with _Karuto_, and has blonde hair and deep blue eyes and is the epitome of 'loser' (and is best friends with my childhood sweetheart—not that it _matters_ or anything), but she thinks that about me too, so I must defend Hina-chan.

"Kiba and Hinata sitting in a tree," Tenten sang giddily in my ear as I laughed. Both looked at me, but I waved my hand, dismissing any worries—or taunting.

A snort was heard from ahead, but I could recognize that unattractive sound from the nostril area from a mile away, in a crowd of pigs (not that there was a difference between the two). "Well look what the tide washed in."

"What are you doing here, dick-wad?" Ino asked, venom dripping on every word of her speech.

"Anyone is welcome." A delicious, manly, and all-together-wonderful voice said above the crowd, and I just had to look up and come face to face with the most handsome man ever created—besides _Gaara_, um, of course.

But this man, well, he was special. He was the Mary to my Joseph, the God to my Jesus, the Holy to my Spirit, and the Father to my Son.

But it's not like I like him or something—especially not _love_.

"I know that, but what gives you the right to come up to us? We're just walking around and having a good time." I came in, because like, MY man was talking, and, as fate would have it,—seriously, Shakespeare was one smart and cool dude—I had to retort to him, symbolizing our perfection as a couple.

And yes, I do know that I'm a whore because I happen to have a large crush on Sasuke Uchiha, while also dating Gaara Subaku, but hear me out. I've denied this little infatuation because we're supposed to hate each other—our schools anyway. It's this whole feud that has to do with who plays soccer better and who can run faster, who has a better chemistry teacher and whose violin is more in tune.

Those silly little things that cause schools to go fussy and do stupid things that cause all this idiotic hatred.

And the reason why Sasuke-kun and I can't get together.

Because I'm pretty sure there's a fair chance that he likes me back. He always agrees with me (okay, not really, but when I mentioned the whole 'we're just strolling' thing, he nodded) and smirks a lot, which is undeniably sexy.

And we used to date!

Okay, not really. But I'd always kiss him on the cheek in religion, and he'd always hug me and blush, and I'd always purposely forget my religion book just so I could sit next to him and share it with him and whenever he'd read, with that manly voice of his—and yes, we were five, but it doesn't matter!—I'd swoon.

And that, my friends, is _eternal love_.

So as Ino and Neji yell at each other while Hinata keeps sneaking glances at Naruto even though she has her arm wrapped around loverboy and Tenten snorts obnoxiously at this 'lovers spat',—did I mention she hates even the thought of anyone getting together through the opposing schools—I glance at Sasuke and roll my eyes.

And my response?

That incredibly delicious and scrumptious smirk.

My heartbeats increasing way too rapidly for anyone's own good and a blush is appearing on my face. I hope that it's still dark enough so it doesn't show my obvious excitement.

The bickering was hurting my ears—and making me feel terrible for having a crush on Sasuke—so I said, "Yo, guys, I'm going to go check out the mirror house." I grabbed the popcorn bag out of Ino's hand and headed towards the house, where I would _reflect_ (haha, get it?) on my life and how fucked up it is.

I entered, looking at my appearance. My artsy bun was still intact, but the shoes I was wearing were killing me. I took of the threatening, white heals and placed both in my hand, choosing to not notice any more flaws and walking off.

And as I ventured farther into the room, to my stupidity, I realized that all I'd be noticing was flaws.

"You know, you're really not that fat."

I turned my head to see my black-haired enemy, but we're really secret friends (_kind of_), who are going to be secret lovers one day that will _not_ inevitably lead us to our death.

'Cause we're not that kinky.

(or uncreative)

"Why thank you Sasuke. It's nice to know that I'm not _that_ fat, but still indeed _fat_." I rolled my eyes, still walking from mirror to mirror, noticing more and more things wrong about me. When the hell did I get that pimple? And why oh why didn't anyone tell me that my teeth had some cotton candy in them.

Sasuke scoffed from behind me. "That's not what I meant."

I laughed lightly, bitterly, in that I-love-you kind of way that always makes me regret being a woman—giggling is a natural gift, didn't ya know? "What are you doing here, anyways? Shouldn't you be talking about how the ref at the last game was _so totally not fair_, or something idiotic like that?"

"You know I don't care about that stuff." And as he said that with his—_still_—manly voice, I looked up in the mirror, only to see him. And his reflection is just as wonderful as him—but what do you expect from an _Uchiha_? Like, if you go to a dictionary and look up the word 'perfection', a picture of Sasuke Uchiha will be there.

My breath catches in my throat when I see him behind me in the mirror. With him this close, I can see that there are no flaws located on his porcelain-like skin, and I'm so totally jealin'.

"Why do you think our school fights so much? I mean, we're really not that different." The thought of only watching him in the mirror leads me to turn around, leaning my back against the glass.

He shrugged. "We have better school colors?" I laughed as he let out a smirk. "I don't really know, actually."

"I know! It's just so stupid, that I can't even take it sometimes. I mean, people can't be friends from each of the schools, and I'm so sure that this is going to be like Romeo and Juliet, or—oh lordy, lordy, _lordy_—Westside Story. Someone's just going to die, I just know it."

Sasuke looked up, his eyes boring into mine. "We're friends." Leave it to a man to take the least important part of the conversation and revolve his statement—the superior one, of course—into something completely different.

I smiled at him. "Really now?"

He snorted. "Of course."

"Just friends, right?"

He paused for a second, but then nodded.

And _holy freaking crap_ did I want to shoot him at the moment.

How could he not sense the obvious chemistry between us? The fact that our past shall become the future? That he's undeniably sexy and I'm breathtakingly beautiful. That God wanted us to get together, and to triumph over this freaking hatred.

It's like we're on a mission from God…

(and yes, I do happen to love The Blue's Brothers, and all other wondrous 80's movies)

"SAKURA, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

I can so sense a bottle of Viagra coming my way tonight…

-&-

Reasons Why Doing Nothing On A Friday Is So Totally Boss  
**(even after you go out for a night on the town)  
**_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) Um, chyeah, no annoying friends here to complain and bitch about how _you're in love with Sasuke Uchih_a—even if it's true.

2) You get to watch all those really cheesy shows on TV, but are still utterly amazing like Fresh Prince and maybe even some Full House—with the dad, _of course_.

3) You can wear whatever you want (jammies with Madeline on them—and yes, they still fit from five years ago) while vegging on the couch and mooching off your fridge's leftovers.

4) You don't get so drunk off your ass from the beer in Ino's fridge in the basement, or the rum and cokes that Tenten happens to make flawlessly—oh, and no hangover the next morning! BONUS!

5) You won't be with your boyfriend Gaara and your secret crush Sasuke Uchiha.

-&-

_If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar:  
__for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?  
-John 4:20_

-&-

* * *

Yo, it's Julia, with a new story!

This one probably won't be updated for a long while, only because I want to finish my other stories before school comes, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. So I hope you like it and all that jazz.

Oh, and on a side note, if you're not Catholic (and if not, pray tell what you believe in), don't hate this story because of it. I happen to be proudly Catholic, so I respect other religions. And if you happen to diss them, I WILL fight back. But anyways, it may be a reoccurring theme, but it won't dominate the story. It's kinda just like, a way that everyone in the story is alike.

And just saying, there will be a happy ending (you guys know me too well for that) and tons of cuteness. They'll most likely get together in the next chapter, but it has to be rushed. You'll see.


	2. Pose Two: flip your hair

Reasons Why Sakura Should Break Up With Gaara  
_written by Sakura Haruno  
_**& Ino Yamanka**

1) **He is not boyfriend material. **_How would you know?_ **Trust me. He would treat you better.** _He_ _treats me just fine, thankyouverymuch!_

2) **He didn't buy you a carnation on Valentine's Day; even though it's like, law to.** _Seriously_ _sweetie, that's a stupid reason._ **Stupid, but still true.**

3) **He constantly disses your love for Elton John, making fun of you.** _…so do you._ **Right, but I'm sexy,** **so I get away with it.**

4) **Sasuke is much smexier, and amazing, and god-like.** _Darling, aren't I supposed to be making this_ _list?_ **Yes, you are, but I'm helping—explaining that Sasuke is obviously a better candidate for your love and affection.**

5) **Forbidden** **romance is so much cooler than** **the stupid, clichéd high-school romance.** _…dude,_ _seriously, forbidden romance is much more overdone._ **Right, but many people fall in love in high school. How many people can say that they've actually had forbidden love?**

-&-

(**Listless Casualties**)

/pose two/  
_flip your hair and break some hearts_

-&-

"Sweetie, are you okay? You've been spacing out a lot." I shook my head and turned to my dad who was sitting across from me at the table.

I gave an apologetic look before answering with, "Oh, yes, I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind, I guess." He nodded, showing that he understood, and then went back to the pork chop on his plate that I prepared earlier. When you live without a mom for a while, you pick up things like cooking and choosing what my dad should wear in the morning.

He looked up once again, after the meat was devoured, and said, "Oh, and by the way, I saw the picture of the blue jay in your room this morning. It's very impressive." I smiled nicely, murmuring a quiet thanks.

I'm never one to take compliments well, so when I do receive them, it's kind of awkward.

"So what do you have going on tomorrow, besides school?"

This was the bad thing about dinner. My dad and I really don't have much to talk about. It's not as if we fight or anything, but socializing has never really been his strong point. The one thing I personally cannot stand is when adults talk to kids about school. Like we don't get enough of that at there—we now have to hear about it with people who _really don't care_.

"Well tomorrow is Monday, so after school Ino's coming over, and then later that night we have a meeting in the church. Something about our yearly 'play' coming out. It'll probably be the usual Stations of the Cross, though."

My dad nodded, continuing to play with his rice. I sighed, bringing my dish to the sink and cleaning it, waiting until this half an hour of 'family time' would be over, so I could go and list the reasons as to why this thing called my life sucks so much.

-&-

Reasons Why Not Having A Mother Sucks  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) You miss out on all the girly aspects of life such as shopping and talking about boys.

2) You're left with a socially awkward dad that tries to take on both roles of the parents, but fails because he is also juggling an over-controlling job and lack of partnership.

3) You have to do so much, like wash the dishes and do the laundry—for EVERYONE—and miss out on teenage life because you're already a step ahead.

4) You can't watch those sappy movies with motherless children without balling your eyes out more than any person, for you know how it feels first hand.

5) You have no one to talk to about your forbidden crush on Sasuke Uchiha while you're currently dating Gaara.

-&-

The only thing left to do when I found out that Ino couldn't come to my house after school—I even offered talking about Sasuke, but apparently her mom really needs her at their shop today—was go get some coffee, because it was the only thing to keep me awake after my all-nighter last night.

Once I start drawing, I honestly can't stop.

So as my heels clanked against the floor of the small café, I walked up to the counter, recognizing the cashier.

"Hey Anko." She smiled in greeting, not even bothering to ask for my order, and just going to make it, for I come here too often to _not_ have a usual.

It was when I went to the end of the counter, waiting for drink, when I saw someone sitting at a table in the corner, who was already glancing at me. He must have seen me when I actually arrived. I waved shyly while he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

Once I got my chai latte—the usual for here, but at home I drink coffee for the sake of the caffeine and divine taste—I sat down across from him, but not before giving a questioning glance, to which he answered with a smirk.

I took a long sip and relinquished in the warm beverage before glancing up at him. "So are you going tonight?" He nodded, and I felt the conversation entering into an awkward one. When he doesn't speak, I just take that as a bad sign. "How was your day?"

"The dobe was loud."

I giggled, for it was such a Sasuke-answer, but also a truthful one. "Ah, yes. Ino ditched me to go and work, and that left me nothing to do but come here."

"I'm glad."

I smiled up at him, blushing a little, and feeling my stomach fill with butterflies.

And then I thought of Gaara, and how this is cheating, and how I just can't stand cheaters.

But with the way Sasuke is looking at me, and his face is much closer than it was a few seconds ago, it really wasn't under my control anymore.

-&-

What You Should Do After You Get Kissed By Sasuke Uchiha  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) Stand in shock for a few minutes before looking him in the eye for another five, then dashing out of the place—leaving the latte behind, sadly.

2) Don't listen or stop when he calls or chases after you, because that could lead to more kisses and—_obviously_—that would be bad.

3) Once you're in the car and you're done making a list, you must call up your friend and brag about how the clichéd 'you've got something on your lip, so let me lick it off of you' actually happened to you.

4) Commence in feeling guilty, for you have a boyfriend, but are contradictory and can't help but smile when you think about his lips on yours.

5) Do the inevitable—break up with your boyfriend.

-&-

"I'm not here right now, or I'm screening your call." Came Gaara's nice and happy answering machine. Really, I loved the dude, but more as a friend, I guess. And I know I make him sound bad, but he really is nice. He's just not the right guy for _me_.

"Hey Gaara! It's me, Sakura and—"

The phone clicked, and I knew he picked it up. He really _does_ screen calls, but when I call, I'm instantly picked up. "Hey,"

"Oh, hey! Um, I kind of have something important to say."

"You want to break up."

Um…_what?_

Does he have some mind-reading abilities that I was not filled in on? Or am I just too predictable?

Or did he see the kiss that happened today?

Nah, that's not possible.

…right?

"Well, yes. But how did you know?"

"That's the voice one would use. Am I just going to guess this has something to do with Uchiha?"

I gulped. "Well, um, no, of course not! I just don't think that we're right for each other, and continuing the relationship would only lead to more pain, if you ask me. I mean, you're a really great guy, but—"

"Whatever."

I huffed, because, really, shouldn't the guy I'm breaking up with try to keep me somehow?

Why do I feel like these past few weeks of our relationship have really been nothing at all?

Shouldn't he be concerned? Or upset? Or worried?

Am I a bad person because I want his heart to be broken right now?

…_probably_.

"Right. So, we can still be…_friends_?" I sighed, annoyed at my own cliché-ness, and how ridiculous I sounded.

I really had a whole routine down, seriously. But this was just unexpected, and almost…upsetting? Yeah, that's it. Because he should be groveling, damn it!

You know what, _fuck this_!

"Anyways, we don't have to be friends, if it'll be awkward, and yes I care about you—though I'm not sure if the feeling is reciprocated—but this was coming to an end anyways. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Yeah," And with that he hung up, leaving me to sit on my bed, so freaking confused, making me really want to go and buy some flowers.

-&-

Ino's head shot up from the sound of the door jingling from the chimes above my head. I smiled at her, and she shrieked in surprise, "Gah, thank you! I'm so bored!" She gave me a tight hug, and then returned to her station behind the counter, me following close behind.

"So what brings you here, girly?" She questioned while fixing up some bouquets at the counter, inspecting their beauty.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "Well, you see, um, I broke up with Gaara."

Her eyes darted to mine, shock plastered onto her face. "You did what?"

"You know how I called you today, and you didn't pick up?" Ino nodded her head frantically. "Well it was because Sasuke kissed me and—"

"WHAT?"

"It would nice to be able to finish a sentence, Ino."

She shot an apologetic look, but I still didn't miss the rolling of her eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just not everyday that you go and kiss Sasuke Uchiha, the boy you said that you didn't have a crush on yesterday, but were mackin' with him today, and—"

"Yes Ino, I get it. But I didn't kiss him. He kissed _me_."

"Oh, right, well go on."

I sighed, exasperated. "Right, so after the kiss, I ran, then called you, then came home and—"

"Did you make a list?"

I groaned in irritation. "Of course,"

She smiled sweetly—like the sugary kind of grin that would seem like a remorseful one, but I could see past her evil ways. "Sorry, go on darling."

"I came home, and felt like an ass, because cheating and lying are both against our religion, so—"

"It's also against our religion to underage drink."

I rolled my eyes, annoyed by yet another interruption. "I don't even know what you're talking about. We drink wine at church every week. It's the blood of Jesus, duh. And don't even talk, Miss I-Get-Drunk-Every-Weekend."

"Psh, so do you!"

"Well—well I'm cooler, and more amazing, and like, _chyeah_."

It was her time to roll her eyes. "Whatever you loser. Go on with your story."

"Right, so then I called up Gaara to do the whole break-up thing, and I know I should have done it in person, but then I would have cried, so he picked up and guessed that I was going to break up with him, and I said yes, and he wasn't even upset! He's losing _me_, for goodness sakes!"

Ino psh-ed. "Darling, he's _Gaara_. He's not going to cry in front of you, or show any signs of sadness. You probably just broke his heart."

I gave her a 'you idiot' look. "Well that makes me feel _much_ better."

"Hey, I'm just saying. But don't worry about it, sweetie! You have Sasuke now!"

"Ugh, thanks for reminding me. I'm going to have to see him tonight, and just, UGH."

Ino's face lit up. "Oh yeah! We're going to the church tonight and he's going to be there, and so are you, and love shall commence!"

"Not likely. Everyone will be there, and we'll be on separate sides of the church, fighting over who would play a better Jesus. It'll just be annoying, and horribly idiotic."

"Yeah, but then you two could play parts that are conjoined, or whatever, and then you two will be able to hang out, and smooch!"

I sighed. "Ino, we're doing Stations of the Cross. It's about the death of Jesus. There is no kissing."

"Yeah, but when Simon helped Jesus carry the cross—darling, that had to mean _something_."

"You are _so_ going to hell."

She smiled. "Yeah, I know."

-&-

"Alright guys! You're all here today for it's time to pick out a play to perform at our church in the upcoming month. This year it will be Stations of the Cross, only because it is significant, and is what goes on every year. We like to stick to tradition, you see?"

I sent a smug look towards Ino who just stuck out her tongue while Tenten sighed and Hinata giggled. While I was turned in Ino's direction, I managed to catch a glimpse of Sasuke, who was staring at me. I offered a light smile, and was turning back to Ino when I caught sight of a redhead in the crowd of teens, who was switching between me and Sasuke.

_Sigh_.

I buried my head into Ino's shoulder, hoping she'd block me from the evilness of the situation. She looked at me, and I just pointed to the two incredibly hot guys a few feet away from us. I could hear her sigh, and I just _knew_ she rolled her eyes.

"Its okay sweetie, it's almost over."

"Alright, Miss Haruno, will you be volunteering to speak again, as the first narrator? We all know that your performance last year was one that would be held in infamy with your melodic voice."

I just sighed, nodding numbly while Ino answered for me. "Ah, yes she will Kakashi-san. She's just not feeling too well right now, but she'll proudly take the part again!" The gray-haired man got a smile on his face, pulling a thumbs-up that Gai-sensei, a deacon in our church, must have taught him.

"And do we have another volunteer to do the second vocal part?"

The moment Sasuke's spoke, I knew I would regret taking the part.

-&-

To Do List For Tomorrow  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) Try and contain my anger while Tenten rags to me about how much it sucks that I have to work with Sasuke.

2) Get home from school and call Sasuke with the number he gave me—_le squeal_—and talk about when we'd get together to _practice lines_ (WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS BUDDY, WE DON'T NEED FREAKING PRACTICE!).

3) Decide whether to snog Sasuke again, or to call up Gaara and get back together with him, or to join the nunnery.

4) Figure out what's up with my dad, for he's been acting ridiculously fishy lately.

5) Go to youth group to finish the final touches on The Coffee House and chill with friends, while also stealing glances at Sasuke.

6) Light a candle in the church for my mom—though that's a ritual.

7) Go home and practice singing the decant for choir this week when I was given a solo.

8) Do lame-ass homework on the crazy Mayans who went around and sacrificed people to sun gods or whatever.

9) NOT attend Temari's house party, because it's a school night and I shouldn't sneak out, even though my dad wouldn't be home since he works so freaking late, and I could get drunk and have a _terrible_ hangover the next day, oh, and Gaara would be there, and it would be just AWKWARD.

10) Avoid all pretty boys.  
(**meaning**; _disregard above list_)

-&-

I was sitting in bed, my iPod blasting out of the speakers while working on my AP Chemistry homework when my dad came in, his face tired and his posture showing his obvious fatigue, explaining that he just got home from work.

"Hey sweetie." The moment I saw his lips move, I took of my large headphones, laying them on my deep pink comforter, turning my attention to him.

Once I put a lock of pink behind my ear, I greeted with my own, "Hey Daddy. How was work?"

He sighed, meaning it was a rough day—but really, that happened every day. "It was okay. How was the meeting? Are you doing Stations of the Cross?"

At least my dad remembered stuff—no matter how aloof and out-there he was sometimes. "Yes, we are. I'm the narrator again."

He smiled. "That's great. Who's the other one?"

"Oh, um," I blushed, and my father raised his eyebrows, "Sasuke Uchiha."

"Ah, yes, from Konoha." It may seem that my dad's caught up in the whole 'feud', but he truly isn't. "Is there something I should know about this boy? Is he your boyfriend?"

I shook my head. "No, he isn't. That was Gaara, a few hours ago though."

"Your boyfriend?" I nodded, giving him an odd look. "How long have you had a boyfriend?"

I smiled in a silly way. "Daddy, he's been my boyfriend for a few weeks."

"But he was the first, right?"

I laughed lightly, shaking my head. "Dad, there's been quite a few. Where have _you_ been?"

"Why haven't you ever told me?"

I shrugged. "Why haven't you ever asked?"

See, this is where a mother could come in.

Or a father that was even slightly part of your life.

I'm not saying he neglects me, but he's hardly home, and when he is, I'm sure the last thing he'd ever want to deal with who's dating who, and who I like, and what I'm wearing tomorrow, since I went shopping to cheer myself up after the whole church thing, and bought a really pretty dress that I will wear on me and Sasuke's first date.

…

Yes, I am _that_ much of a whore.

"Um, sweetie, I have someone I'd like you to meet tomorrow."

I stared up at him. "What kind of _someone_ would this be?"

He looked up for a minute, trying to find the right answer, I presumed. "A _special_ someone." He looked nervous, but with that smile on his face and the magical look in his eyes—the only thing a significant other could ever cause—I could do nothing more but agree, kiss him goodnight, and cry myself to sleep.

-&-

Reasons Why Your (**Widowed**) Dad Dating A Girl Is Bad  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) WHAT ABOUT _MOM_, DAMNIT! IS SHE JUST CHOP LIVER NOW! WHAT THE _FUCK_ HAPPENED TO _THAT_?

2) They'll probably get married, and you've seen those Disney movies! The Step-Mother is always some bitch that destroys her child's life. Like, NO.

3) Your dad will pay (_even less_) attention to you, because he'll be obsessed with making _her_ happy, and making _her_ smile, and _not freaking you_!

4) What's going to happen in heaven when you have TWO ladies waiting for you? WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN THEN, DADDIO?

5) IT WON'T BE YOUR MOM.

-&-

_Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.  
__-Proverbs-  
__(Chapter XXVII, Volume 6)_

-&-

* * *

**Yo! New chapter out, and it's kinda earlier than I promised.**

**There's not that much love going around with the whole dad thing, but expect a sortakindamaybe big surprise next chapter!**

**I have so many ideas, but so little time. I'm off to Disney for a week, and then I must read two books and do huge projects in four days, and then go to school! I'll try to update more often, but I don't see it as a likely thing! Sorry. **

**ANYWAYS, I hoped you liked the chapter.**

**Ugh, I didn't finish two of the things I promised, but I updated ALL the chapters, so I get some credit for that, right? I mean, REALLY.**

**The other two are one-shots that are only terribly important to Meaghan, but since she left me, it's okay. They'll be up when I get home! I PROMISE!**


	3. Pose Three: stick out your tongue

Reasons Why Making Lists To Describe Your Life Is Amazing  
_written by Sakura Haruno  
_**& Ino Yamanka**

1) _Its a very organized way to keep track of your life without writing in a diary and whatnot._ **-cough-NERD-cough-** _Whatever loser._

2) _Its creative, and with me being an artist_—**and me being just plain old amazing**—_it just works with our life styles._

3) _NOTEBOOKS ARE AMAZING._ **Seriously Sakura, you need help.** _Don't even go there. YOU even know that the smell of a new notebook makes goose-bumps run up your arm._

4) _It makes you feel more sane when you write down the reasons to a predicament._ **Sakura, it's quite** **clear that you're naturally insane. I don't think writing it down will help you much.**

5) **YOU CAN DO IT WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.** _I love you, darling._ **Same, but we all know I'm the prettiest.**

-&-

(**Listless Casualties**)

/pose three/  
_stick out your tongue and shed some tears_

-&-

This whole 'list' thing probably seems kind of ridiculous. I mean, really, ever heard of a diary? But normal was never really me and Ino's style. And lists are more fun—as well as the pretty book we keep them in.

DID I MENTION IT HAD A CORSS ON IT?

Why yes, I AM a good Christian girl.

(but the things written in there may contradict it)

It all started when my mom died. I was only nine years old and Ino was my best friend. We were in the church at the funeral, and she really felt kind of awkward. So as we were sitting through the mass, me tearing my eyes out while holding my dad's hand, she passed me the fluffy pink book.

And even though I didn't read it, I knew it was special.

Because you see, this wasn't any old book.

This was _the_ book.

You see, for Ino's eighth birthday, she got this really pretty pink notebook that had puffy fringe and a princess crown on the front. It had a fuzzy material around it, and the pages were so incredibly crisp that just skimming through the pages sent chills throughout our small bodies.

And not only the book, but she had a matching pen with pink ink.

PINK INK!

(seriously, we were eight, and this was our only form of real entertainment or excitement)

She told me—and the rest of the people at her birthday party—that she was saving it as a diary, and she'd only write important events in there, and that no one was to look, because it was that special. (and truly, it was. It even had the nice pink lining on the pages, and in the beginning it had a dedication section that was written in script! We couldn't even _read_ script at a time like that)

So we all obliged and waited for her to write in the book, but she didn't. She said she couldn't write anything in front of us, and we nodded our heads dumbly.

My mom died two days later.

But that day in the same church I inhabit today, she handed me the book, and the pen, and opened the book to a certain page. I looked down to see her scrawny handwriting. It was a large title on the top of the princess-like paper.

Reasons Why Death Just Isn't Cool  
_written by Sakura Haruno  
_**& Ino Yamanka**

1)** Everyone wears black at the funeral, and there are no pretty colors.**

I smiled at her, and the list, because I know she didn't know what to say at a time like this. So she wrote it. In her special notebook on her special paper with her special pen. It was all special. She said it was only for important things—things with a purpose and it couldn't be used for everyone else.

And she used it for _me_.

-&-

"So, like, yo, what are you doing today with Sasuke-darling?" Ino asked after throwing her Capri-Sun into the garbage.

I sighed, picking at the mashed potatoes I had on my school tray. "I have no idea. Should I even call him? Do you think he thinks I'm a loser because I ran away, therefore presuming that I didn't enjoy the kiss?"

She laughed. "Darling, I'm sure he's looked in a mirror. Any boy that fine would know that any girl would enjoy a kiss from him."

"Wow, you're just as obnoxious as he may be. Maybe you're setting up the wrong girl."

She chuckled again and hit my shoulder. "Sakura, you loser. You know that I wouldn't go after your love interest—no matter how scrumptious looking he may be. I mean, really, what kind of skank do you take me for anyways?"

She raised her eyebrows while I gave her my usual, "are-you-drunk?" look. And I believe today is the first time she actually isn't drunk when I gave her this look. I knew she's been laying off the alcohol!

I would give her a pat on the back or something if I wasn't so confused. Hm, maybe I can take her out for a celebratory caramel latte after school. (and hopefully run into my lover there)

"Right, anyways. It would be odd if I just invited him over my house, and the last thing I want to do is go over to his house and see Itachi there, who will most likely say something to Konoha. Where should we meet?"

She looked up for a quick second at the blinding lights of our cafeteria before answering with, "You should meet at the Youth Center at the church. It has those nice and colorful couches, and no one is there during the day—only at night at youth group. No one will bother you, and it's just perfect."

I thought about it for a second, and then realized that my friend actually did have a purpose—besides her pink notebooks and wonderful hugs and all-too-inappropriate catchphrases.

-&-

What You Should Do When You're Alone with Sasuke in the Youth Room  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) Talking about the project would be a good start.

2) Make sure you smile a lot so he knows that you actually want to be here, and that you in fact DID enjoy the kiss.

3) Talk about how pointless it is to practice these lines, and then subtly mention that he must have only wanted to do it so he could see you, and grin with satisfaction when he nods.

4) Say no when he asks if you're still dating Gaara.

5) DO NOT KISS. Because, _truly_, this is a church, and it would just be wrong to kiss your enemy that you shouldn't even like—and lied about liking—and make-out in God's house. That's kind of like giving you a one way ticket to Hell.

-&-

But really, when do _I_ ever listen?

Sometimes I think these lists are just so monotonous, because I never really listen to them.

If I did, I wouldn't be on the couch, leaning into Sasuke's soft touches to my face as his other arm is around my waist, pulling me closer as I open my mouth for him. I wouldn't be moaning—but not too loudly because we're in a church, and Kakashi is only a few doors down—and this wouldn't feel so incredibly good.

Because kissing an enemy is bad—especially when you lie about kissing the enemy, or even liking the kissing-enemy.

…at least I'm not cheating?

-&-

"So let me get this straight, you throw the books on the floor—"

"Darling, we can't throw religious text on the floor. I'm not _that_ bad of a Catholic. I mean, _really_."

She rolled her eyes. "Right, of course—even if you've already lost all hope of going to heaven."

I pouted. "That is so not true. I mean everyone is always talking about how God forgives people for their many mistakes. No one is perfect, and got is very forgiving and apologetic. Once this all blows over—and everyone, just like GOD does, realizes that we're destined for each other and hatred shouldn't stand in the way of true love—he'll understand."

"Sure darling. Whatever helps you sleep at night." I stuck out my tongue, but she ignored it and just continued. "So anyways, you stopped what you were doing, and then he jumped you, and you responded, while a few priests and nuns were just down the hall?"

"Dude, do you have to make it sound so terrible? You make me sound like a whore."

She gave a pointed look. "So I gave an accurate description then, right?"

I hit her with the pillow lying on my bed, kicking her from my spot as well. I ended up missing her (it's so not fair—she's got my swivel desk chair that can go all around the room, so she could easily dodge my lame attack) and ended up falling onto the bed.

She giggled, laughing out, "You're such a loser." I got off the bed this time, ready to fully attack her with my pillow. Before I could launch my attack, my cell started vibrating in my pocket. Ino knew from the shocked look I always got on my face when my butt would start shaking (ya know, when I was _sober_).

"Hello?" I answered while flipping the phone up and flopping down on my bed. I recognized the voice anywhere. "Oh, hey Tenten. What's up?" I waited a few more seconds before retorting with, "Ah, no, I'm with Ino. We'll just walk there. I'll see you soon, m'kay?"

After her quick reply, I put my cell into my sack, put it around my shoulder, grabbed my Youth Group book—you know, the stuff with all the plans for stuff we do, and organization is just my thing—and yanked Ino out the door.

-&-

What a Coffee House Is  
_written by Sakura Haruno  
_**& Ino Yamanka**

1) **NOT the place where Sakura had her first kiss with Sasuke Uchiha.** _You're such a loser, really._ **What, you know it's true. That coffee house will always hold a special place in your heart.**

2) _A fundraiser for the church so we can raise money for veterans while also having a lot of fun._ **If fun to you is dancing around while acting out bible skits, then that's you. **

3) **There is in fact coffee at a Coffee House, so I'm all set.** _Yeah, but that coffee won't be served to_ _you. Others will drink it while you perform._ **Darling, do you really expect me to do any performing in these heels? **

4) _We can relate everyday songs to the bible and passages from it._ **Are you telling me there won't be any 'superman' in it? Could you imagine a priest doing it, with the move and everything?** _Ino,_ _seriously—_ **Yeah, yeah, I know. **_**I'm so going to hell.**_

5) **SASUKE UCHIHA WILL BE IN IT.** _Dude, I hate you. _**…I bet you don't hate **_**Sasuke**_**.**

-&-

"Okay, so we'll all come out singing 'Open The Eyes to My Heart, Lord' and perform the dance. We have it all planned, right?"

Everyone shook my head at my question while Kakashi nodded. "Excellent Sakura. Now go off and work on the scenery." We all nodded, getting up from our chairs. I yanked Ino over to the painting section, only because I knew that Gaara found painting gay—courtesy of Kankurou trying to put make-up on him (LIKE _HELL_ THAT EYELINER IS FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION!)—and Sasuke would try to stalk me no matter where I went.

Ino sighed when she stopped at the moon in front of us. "Geez, someone's anxious." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a paintbrush, hurriedly dipping it into the green paint and layering the grass color at the bottom of the wood in front of me.

"Something happen today, darling?" I rolled my eyes and shoved the book that I kept in my bag at her. She grabbed it, sticking out her tongue. I watched as her eyes scanned the title and a mischievous glint tainted her eyes. They widened at the end, I presume, and her mouth opened as well. She looked up at me, frozen in place. "In…the Youth Group room…?"

"…maybe?"

She hit my arm. "You're SUCH a whore!"

"Shut up, you loser! We're in the church!"

"That doesn't make you any less of a whore."

I could feel a presence right behind me, and it smelled delicious, so I'm sure the person was too. "Who's a whore?"

_Definitely_ delicious.

Ino smiled creepily at him. "Oh, I'm sure you'd know." I smacked her in the arm, then turned to Sasuke and grinned in a charming fashion. He smirked, nodding at Ino.

"Sakura!" A loud and obnoxious voice screamed in my ear. I turned around to come face-to-face with Lee, who was exposing a large grin, a thumb up in the air. I smiled back and waved awkwardly, but was still nice because I'm in church.

"You're looking marvelous today, Sakura. And you organized this so well! You're so smart and pretty." I blushed from his compliment, turning around so the shades of red on my cheeks weren't noticeable.

Sure, Lee has liked me for a while and has no problem with making it known, but just hearing it always brings a smile upon my face. "Thank you, Lee. That's very nice of you to say. You're looking…marvelous too."

He smiled, raising his thumb up to form his signature pose, while I giggled some more.

I was about to say something else when Sasuke spoke, yanking at my arm. "Sakura, I have to talk to you." I nodded dumbly, being pulled away while Ino smiled in a suggestive way. I rolled my eyes.

I was pushed in another room off from the basement of the church in which our meetings were held. "Sasuke-kun…?" I asked quietly, because he was leaning against me, his forehead against mine, and my heart beating at an uncontrollable speed.

"I don't want that idiot talking to you. You are _mine_." And with that, he pushed me against the wall, his lips engulfing mine in a frantic and possessive kiss. I really couldn't help but shut my eyes and give in, but it was only a few seconds after that I realized my back hurt.

As in, what I was being shoved against wasn't a wall, but in fact—_oh crap_.

"S-Sasuke-kun…" I muttered, but he didn't stop kissing me.

If I thought I was going to Hell because I was making-out in the church with my so-called enemy that I lied about liking, then I was wrong.

With me making-out with my enemy that I lied about liking while leaning against The Crucifix of Jesus Christ, I would be _lucky_ to go to Hell.

-&-

"You're such a whore." I rolled my eyes while punching Ino in the arm. "I can't even believe you! Like, Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross, and you were making-out against his limp form while moaning, and that's just horrible! And you said that _I_ was going to hell!"

I hit her again, retorting with, "Hey, it's not my fault, you loser! I tried to tell him, but he just ignored me and kept on kissing me, so then I moved us, but um, we ended up against Mary."

"MARY? Gosh Sakura, she's like, The Mom of Jesus."

I rolled my eyes. "Really? The mom?" She hit me lightly, laughing.

"So, you going to Temari's party tonight? I heard it's going to be awesome, and she's got a load of her parents booze down in the basement."

I shrugged. "I want to, but my dad wants me to, uh, meet someone tonight."

She turned to me, her eyes concerned for she noticed the way my shoulders slumped and my tone got low and dreary. "Like, a Special Someone? As in, a Love Interest?"

"I think so." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, giving me a tight squeeze.

"Don't worry. No one can replace your mom, or you. So no matter how beautiful she may be, or nice, or have cool shoes, you know that she has nothing on your mom—or me." I laughed. "Oh, and the fact that your dad isn't that naïve to marry some bimbo that's only after your money, okay?"

"I know he isn't—I just don't want it to be some scary lady or whatever."

"Cheer up, girly. I know your dad will make the right choice."

I nodded, because I knew she was right.

But just because she's right doesn't mean that I have to like her.

-&-

Ino walked me to my house because she knew that I needed it, but she also knew that I had to go in there alone. Which is what I did. Because I was strong, and I knew that I couldn't ruin my dad's one chance at happiness (since I'm obviously not enough for him).

"Dad?" I walked into the house, not finding him in the living room. I walked farther towards the den—the place where More-Than-Guests go. You know, the place where the grandparents and you have tea, or where your little cousins run around. It's a _personal_ place.

He was sitting on the couch alone, and I thought that maybe She left or something.

"Pumpkin?" He asked as I walked in more, surprising him apparently. But not as much as he surprised _me_. Pumpkin? PUMPKIN? He hasn't called me that since I was five or something.

Before _Mom_ died.

I sighed, knowing that She just had to be here. Women had the kind of affect on men.

"Oh, hey Dad. Um, where's the person you wanted me to meet?"

And that's when it happened. She walked out of the bathroom, except, well—WHAT?

"Sakura, I'd like you to meet Iruka Umino—my boyfriend."

-&-

Reasons Why Dad Having A Boyfriend Is Bad  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) Dude, I have nothing—and I really mean NOTHING—about gay people, but apparently it's not allowed (again I don't think it's true), but what if the church doesn't accept him? Church is such an important thing to me.

2) Like, the obvious reason, HOLYFREAKINGCRAPTHATRAMONESSONGISTRUE! DADDY LIKES MEN! WHAT THE FREAKING _HELL_?

3) I thought I'd at least lose this fight with some dignity to a pretty girl with huge boobs and pretty shoes that I could steal at random times, but I lose to a guy? A GUY! WHO WAS MY _KINDERGARTEN_ TEACHER! WITHOUT BOOBS _OR_ PRETTY SHOES!

4) He'll get an annulment, which just erases his previous marriage, which is just like ERASING ME! Yeah, that makes me feel loved. WHY DON'T YOU JUST SEND ME TO FREAKING _MILITARY_ _SCHOOL_ THEN?

5) You don't just wake up one day and decide you're gay, SO WHAT THE HELL WAS MOM? DID YOU EVEN LOVE HER? Do you even love _me_?

-&-

After the whole incident, I decided the only logical thing was to stop this whole Sober thing, and call up My Bitch so I could get a ride to this party—even if it meant the awkwardness between me and Gaara.

So even though my dad was banging on my door because I oh-so-rudely ran away and locked my door, I still got dressed in my slutty black dress that I stole from Ino last year and slid down the drain pipe in my stilettos.

I am synonymous with amazing.

But not really, since I sort of lost it after three beers, and I wasn't really registering anything.

"Sakura, I think you've had enough." I rolled my eyes at Ino while trying to grab the bottle she had in her hand. She agreed to be the guardian of me, since she knew I was going through a rough time—but I didn't even tell her about my dad. I was afraid of crying.

That just makes her even more amazing, because she agreed to stay sober while watching after my sorry ass, and she's not even positive to why I'm sad.

"Ino, you know how teacher in kindergarten?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Did you think he was gay?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Why? He is?"

"I was just wondering. Did he send off a _gay_ vibe?"

"Not really, I guess. But then again I was in kindergarten. I don't even think I knew what gay was then." I nodded, looking down at my shoes. "Why? Have you seen him recently?"

I was about to confess to what happened tonight, but stopped myself when I looked up, my eyes feasting on the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. But not really, since tonight took that. But it was still horrendous, and made me want to go and hug my teddy bear while crying.

Because my darling Ex Boyfriend was _mackin' with this other chica_.

And that shouldn't bother me, right?

Right?

I mean, I don't like him, but we just broke up YESTERDAY!

Am I really so terrible that he went out and rejoiced our break-up by snogging some other girl? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME?

Does this world have any decency left?

(take that from the good little Catholic girl standing here with her fifth beer in hand who's wearing a dress that a prostitute uses as work clothes)

Ino noticed my glare, so she turned around, her mouth gaping open. She dragged my arm, taking me out of the living room and in the foyer of the vast house.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

But I couldn't answer. The tears were blurring my vision, and the headache I was enduring came a bit too early for Hangover Phase. I leaned my head against the wall for I was sitting on a bench near the door.

And right after I threw up all over someone's shoes that I didn't recognize, since they were really nice Vans, and I know for a fact that Ino hates all Vans/Converses and is only clad in Nike and heels, I passed out.

-&-

Why Today Has Been Incredibly Horrendous  
(or well, _yesterday_, since I wasn't sober enough to write it last night)  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) I made-out with Sasuke against a dead Jesus, and his mother, which just sends me to Hell so instantly, and then I can't even go to Confession, because how the hell do you say that to a _priest_?

2) MY DAD IS GAY! DADDY LIKES MEN! WTH!

3) My dad is gay with my kindergarten teacher, which is like, for serious, the most messed up thing ever. Like, when we learn about dysfunctional families in Health and how the ones with most dysfunction are ones with abuse and alcohol, but I'm almost positive that mine takes the cake.

4) I saw Gaara kissing some chica whose name is Matsuri, and she's some freaking _freshie_. What if he was cheating on me, and that's why he was so happy about the break-up? What if he never even liked me _at all_?

5) I threw up on some freaking cool shoes. _Not_ cool.

-&-

_On a good day, enjoy yourself;  
On a bad day, examine your conscience.  
God arranges for both kinds of days  
So that we won't take anything for granted._

_-Ecclesiastes 7 (The Message)_

-&-

* * *

_As for Meaghan_: thanks for signing online, ho. And secondly, remember when C-squared did the Superman thing in front of the whole church? And isn't Lee just like Eric? Like, FOR SERIOUS! And Eric totally digs Jessica, if ya didn't know.

_And Chian_: WHY IS HE MACKIN WITH THAT OTHER CHICA?  
Dude, we need to watch The Notebook sometime soon.

_As for Alice-darling_ (**you know who you are**): WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? -cries- I miss you.

_As for everyone else_: Did ya see that coming? As in, the gay dad thing? I was so excited to update this and put it up, but like, I haven't been in the mood to write lately, and this was so hard to get out of me, and I just feel like _blah_.

I don't know if I'm just having ME issues again, or my body isn't right because I'm actually sick right now (and missing YOUTH GROUP!), but I just haven't. And school sucks, so yeah. And I don't want to study for my social studies test tomorrow, so I wrote this.

But MVOF will be out soon, since I have ideas about the chapter, and JALS is still something I'm not sure about, BUT there is hope, because TDC has AMAZING ideas. XD

_As for a sidenote_: so there's this song called 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift, and I've decided that this is the themesong to this entire story. GO LISTEN!

_As for closure_: So I hoped you enjoy this (horribly late, I'm sorrysorrysorry) chapter.


	4. Pose Four: offer a peace sign

Things You Should Know About Sai (insertlastname)  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) He doesn't mind when people throw-up on his (awesomesupercoolfabulous) purple vans, apparently. Instead he asks why you're getting drunk off your ass and if you need any help, or a ride home because he's a straightedge (_crazy_, I know).

2) He's gay. I don't understand why everyone in school is in love with him, 'cause he's into men. And apparently I said this to him last night, because today in school he made sure to say to me, "You're the only girl who has ever realized that I liked dick." A sweetheart, right? (but honestly, I've always wanted a gay best friend)

3) He moved here this year from Bumblefuck. I've never talked to him that much, just a few times in class when I needed to borrow a pencil, or steal a piece of gum. But he's actually insanely cool and I'm sensing some bestie vibes from him.

4) He's a mad artist. Like he painted this mural of our principal on the wall (_gag me_) and all his art his hanging everywhere. I worship this kind of thing, because, well, you know how much I love to paint. (you see where I'm getting the bestie vibes from now!)

5) He saved my life that night at Temari's party. From taking me outside, holding my hair while I puked, and listened to me ragging about my gay father (YES I TOLD HIM BEFORE I TOLD INO BUT SHHHH) while also sneaking me back into Ino's house, with me waking up to a water bottle and three aspirin. Like, I love this freaking kid.

6) OH AND HE DOESN'T CARE THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE FROM THAT OTHER SCHOOL. …enough said.

-&-

(**Listless Causalities**)

/pose four/  
_offer a peace sign and mend a few wounds _

-&-

So I've been staying at Ino's for the past few days, because honestly, I just can't go home. I think he knows, because he must have called Ino. He hasn't called like my cell or anything (which yeah, sounds just HORRIBLE doesn't it?) so that's my guess. But still, it would be nice to get a text saying "I love you, please come home".

But no, I have a socially awkward dad. Of course.

FML.

Bye.

Kay, but not really.

So yeah, crashing at Ino's. I still haven't told her why I can't go home, but luckily I have the most amazing best friend whose okay with that. She just said I can tell her when I'm ready.

I just wish I knew when that was.

I want a hug from my daddy so badly.

I just can't.

"Chica, we need to hit the town. This sitting-in-bed-and-crying thing is not a good look for you. What about your mancandy?"

Welp speaking of that, he's been texting and calling me like crazy 'cause I haven't been in school (Mrs. Yamanka has been calling me in sick. I love this family so very much) and he wants to _rehearse_ lines with me.

Which is yet another thing pissing me off. It seems like all he wants to do is make-out. I don't want to be a toy like that, you know? I want him to date me and for us to have this whole forbidden-romance-thing because _he's been in love with me since he first laid eyes on me in my pink summer dress when I was five, and for being an artist, and for my laugh, and the way I love things with all my heart_.

But I'm not getting that vibe.

And I'm pretty good with vibes, as you know.

"Ugh just go away." I throw pillows a lot at people when I'm pissed. If I was home, my dad would be suffocated with pillows right now.

She just sighed as I continued to bury my red face into her mattress. "Sweetie, I love you to death, but what the hell is going on? This is getting ridiculous. Does it have to do with your dad not liking Sasuke?"

I shook my head violently no. She knows him better than that.

"Is the girl he's dating a total bitch?"

WELP.

"IT'S NOT A FREAKING WOMAN!"

"…" I could tell the silence in the room meant she had figured out what I was implying. "Wait…is that why you asked about our kindergarten teacher…?"

I could only cry more.

-&-

The Best Songs to Listen to When You're Life is Falling Apart  
_written by Ino Yamanka  
_**(and some input by the beautiful Sakura Haruno)**

1) _Because I'm Awesome by The Dollyrots._ **That sounds stupid**_**.**__ So is yo face_.

2) _Happy by Leona Lewis_**. I JUST WANNA BE HAPPPPY.** _Exactly girlfraaaand!_

3) _Smile by McFly._ **OMG I LOVE MCFLY**._ I know! That's why I just such horrible music for you. :P _**They're awesome, shut up**.

4)_ Fluorescent Adolescent by the Arctic Monkeys._ **I love you. And British Pop Bands**. _…of course you do._

5) _The Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne._ **Gotttta love it:)**

6)_ PARTY IN THE FREAKING USA by my girl Miley._ **…you sicken me.** _You love the song though, you gotta admit it. _**…whatever.**

7) _La Vie Boheme by RENT!_ **MUCHO MASTROBATION.** _To lesies and dikessssss!_

8) _Hey Soul Sister by Train._ **I love you so much; you know how much I love Train**. _Yeah yeah, they're alright._ **…whore.**

9) _God Damn You're Beautiful by Chester See._ **You're becoming obsessed with my random Alternitive Rock/Piano star bands, aren't you?** _…maybe._

10) _AND OF COURSE. Never Alone by Lady Antebellum._ **MOST AMAZING SONG** **EVER**_. I know! And remember my lover, chica, most amazing girl ever; you're never alone._ **I know that now. (heartheartheart)**

-&-

Sometimes you just need to get out.

And you also need to check the weather, because nothing sucks more than going out to take a nice jog, and then realizing that it's pouring once you get down a few blocks away from your best friend's house.

And you also shouldn't take strange rides from your ex-boyfriend that gets over you so easily, and starts mackin with other chicas RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU after the worst news you could ever receive.

But eh, things happen.

"So Matsuri seems nice."

(_insert awkward fake conversation_)

"Uchiha doesn't."

Sigh.

"What a surprise. Plus, we're not even dating. _Psh_."

_Laugh_. "That's why you two were making out against the crucifix at church the other day?"

"WE CLOSED THE DOOR!"

More laughing. _Eff you_ mister. "I went to get the crucifix for the final scene in the coffeehouse idiot. You're lucky it wasn't someone else."

"…are you planning on keeping this a secret?"

"Eh, I guess. I kinda figured we were losing our luster. Plus, you're not really my type."

Alright, now I really can't help but laugh. "Yeah, redheads aren't really my thing."

And he joined, so it wasn't that awkward.

And it kinda just went like that the rest of the ride home. And I absolutely loved it. I missed this kid in my life.

"Friends?" I ask right before I leave the car parked in front of Ino's house. He shook his head and started going in for a hug. I missed my Gaara hugs. They're incredibly awkward, but you can still feel the sincerity.

And guess who I find outside when I open the door?

I'll give you a hint; he's not too happy about that hug.

-&-

"OH. MY. GOD. It's Sakura. And she is just oh so glam, and you must be super cool because PSH, you're calling ME!"

"You're cute. I'm glad you got rid of the other message. I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about what you said after that whole Gaara situation, and I want you to know that even though making out with you is really enjoyable, I want to do so much more than that. …wait, that sounded wrong. Just, well, I wanted to tell you—before you ran off on me—that I want you to be my girlfriend…and stuff. So come to my house for dinner tonight. I want you to meet my mom. She'll love you. Just, uh, call me back to let me know if you're coming."

--

"OH. MY. GOD. It's Sakura. And she is just oh so glam, and you must be super cool because PSH, you're calling ME!"

"Where the hell are you!? I go to take a piss, and you disappear. You better not have run away on me. You have my favorite bra on, you slut. Come home. Bye. (I love you) afkladfkj;"

--

"OH. MY. GOD. It's Sakura. And she is just oh so glam, and you must be super cool because PSH, you're calling ME!"

"IT'S YO GIRLFRIEND TENTEN! Where have you been? Ino said you were undertheweather in a _bad_ sorta way. I hope everything is okay and I'm here for you if you need me. So is Hinata. We love you chicaaaa! And ew, guess who friend requested me today? FREAKING HYUUGA. And not Hinata. Well obviously. Like vomatrocioussss!"

--

"OH. MY. GOD. It's Sakura. And she is just oh so glam, and you must be super cool because PSH, you're calling ME!"

"Hi sweetie. It's me, Dad. I really wish you'd come home. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, but I know you're at Ino's. I'm sorry for such a shock, but I can explain honey. I love you. Please come home. I need you."

--

"OH. MY. GOD. It's Sakura. And she is just oh so glam, and you must be super cool because PSH, you're calling ME!"

"_crycrycry tearteartear snifflesnifflesniffle_. What do I do!? And what do I wear to freaking Sasuke's? And why do I keep calling myself?"

-&-

Things About Sasuke Uchiha That You Would Never Have Guessed  
_written by Sakura Haruno_

1) He is a total mama's boy. He absolutely is in love with her. He listens to everything she says, and admires her opinion so much. (which is why I'm so glad she liked me)

2) He puts KETCHUP on his pasta. 'Cause he's all obsessed with tomatoes and all, but that's just disgusting. When we get married, _that's gotta go_.

3) He's secretly a romantic. Like how he held my hand under the table the entire time. And how after we ate he brought me into his room and gave me this playlist of all the songs that made him think of me. (AND YES IT'S CHEESY BUT I FEEL LOVED)

4) He cares about your problems. Like I told him about my whole dad thing, and he was really supportive. I wouldn't have expected that at all.

5) He's liked me since I was five when I first forgot my religion book and my hair smelled of watermelon and I had really sparkly eyes. (SWOON)

6) He's absolutely, completely, irrevocably, had my heart from the moment I found out he listened to The Kooks.

-&-

"I should probably get going." I said pretty sadly, because this is probably the most amazing night of my life.

I could feel Sasuke sigh (because HI I'm leaning against his shoulder while sitting on the swing on his front porch). "I'll drive you."

"Nah, I kinda want to walk."

"I'll come with you."

I laughed a little. "Honestly, I like my alone time. Plus, I might get sick of you."

He squeezed my hand a little tighter. "Alright."

I gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and started walking off the porch when he stopped, and grabbed my hand.

"You only have one dad, Sakura."

I could feel the tears coming on, but the last thing I wanted to do was show them to him. So I turned my head, nodded, and started sprinting off—looking as normal as possible, of course.

-&-

The entire way home, I couldn't stop thinking about how Sasuke and his dad were so awkward. Just like me. He was gruff, unlike my dad, but there was no connection there. It was as if he favored Itachi (who isn't as delicious as Sasuke, so I don't know what ANYONE is talking about). But the way his mom was to Sasuke, my heart would warm.

She would play with his hair, comment on how _dashing_ he looked, served him the ketchup even when everyone—_including_ me—complained about how gross it was, and kissed him on the cheek whenever possible.

And that's _love_.

So I knew what I had to do.

Well, besides call Ino and say that I wouldn't be staying over again tonight.

And of course give my dad the biggest, most sloppiest hug humanly possible.

-&-

**HAHAHAH REMEMBER THIS STORY!?  
****Yeah, sorry I suck at life.  
****I hope you like this though. :D  
****Tell me whatcha thinkkkk!  
****And I love this new side of Sasuke. It's kind of magical.  
****(AND NOT OCC. HE'S JUST IN LOVE YOU LOSERS)**

**PEACE OUT. **


End file.
